Unless you don’t follow me on social media or you live in a cave, you’ll know that I’m staying in Spain for a few weeks. Beyond the sun, sea, culture, language and everything else I love about this country; it has also marked some very significant aspects of my life.
We all know my ‘triumph over tragedy’ story. I’m disabled, physically weak, and born to just survive and exist. However from great parenting, schooling, friends, positivity, resilience, government funding, technology, dreams, passion and graft; I have achieved some awesome things. Although not always easy or straightforward, it’s been fun.
Sat here in this strange foreign town, with a paradise view, and with my beautiful Kasia beside me; I have reflected a lot over the past weeks. It’s been interesting, important and surprisingly tough. Growth definitely can be a painful experience.
I’ve reflected on my teenage self wanting to pass university exams, go clubbing, get an office job, play football for Tottenham and get laid. I did them all (including wheelchair football for Spurs).
I’ve reflected on my 20 something self wanting to leave my office job, see the world, work on projects that help others, to feel healthier, spend quality time with family and find true love. I’ve done them all too.
I’m reflecting on my 30 year old self, now, trying to work out what is next. I know that maintaining what I already have is important. However, something is niggling me and I’ve been struggling to work it out.
Then it struck me. Money worries! Self employment is exhausting and I hope a day comes where basic income is secured. I also realised it’s a myth and it’s harming my total happiness and fulfilment.
The reason it’s a myth is because no job is absolutely forever and wealth can always be lost. Take financial crashes as an example.
More importantly money worries harm because they adjust and alter your thinking. When I look back, school and university taught me logic and reasoning. Working in London taught me project management and budgets.
Nothing has taught me about living in the moment; about appreciating Kasias love for me and mine for her, about the scenery, the noises from the sea, the smell of the air, the taste of food and the touch of sand.
We’re always conditioned to think of work, money and personal acknowledgment by achievements. Furthermore we’re conditioned to feel guilt when we relax or feel happy.
My new goal is to tap more into my creative and human side. I want to continue inspiring, informing and changing the world about inequality, and be financially comfortable, but through new fulfilling ways.
Whether it’s through writing a book, a poem, painting, music, all of them, or something else, I’m not sure. I just know that money, work and business have their place, but they taint the true purity of what we all truly experience, what we want to give to others and share with the world.