Knowing your limits
I decided to do a typical style of update in terms of daily happenings but in an overarching manner. It has been known the car and my health have been under par for a while. The update of the moment is I am being admitted to the respiratory unit in hospital tomorrow to x-ray my bad lung and run some tests to see why I am still not clearing the infection. I am ok in myself but a little fed up with this and just want to be better, fingers crossed we get things moving tomorrow.
The broader area I want to discuss is easier with the back story. Those who have read my blogs and know me personally will know 98% of the time I enjoy working full time at Scope, meet a friend or two of a week evening, like a dance in a club at a weekend as well as watching Tottenham and taking in the odd music concert and then of course travelling when I can. So understandably I am feeling frustrated at being stuck in.
I am even more annoyed as this goes back to 26th October with my infamous sleep study. I left the study with the ok and come back in a year comment, but with antibiotics due to a slight chest infection. I was then off work for 2 weeks which is the longest time I have ever had off in my working life but a must in the situation. I have explained before how for me a normal cold goes on my chest, my cough is weaker due to the SMA and the mucus sits there and becomes infected. Having recovered and gone back to work for 2 weeks I caught a second cold and last Wednesday it went south. So I am on yet more antibiotics and struggling to shift this time.
I remain confident it will be ok but as always I have been thinking deeper on this and want to share the following. Nearly 5 years ago I had the usual scenario but it was the worst I have known and turned into pneumonia. It was the first time I was aware of my mortality and not to overdramatise – I was scared and it was touch and go. On returning to uni afterwards I had news one of my best friends who had SMA passed away from pneumonia. We were both in Coventry living in next door flats and had also attended the same school on the same bus. It knocked me sideways for multiple layered reasons. Big shout out to Paul!
I have come to the realisation that I am right to do all the things I do and grab life, but this bad early start to winter has shown me that I (as with everyone) must know my limits. Rather than stress about missing work (which I have been) and be totally frustrated I am stuck in not doing the things I love, I know I have to accept my impairment is limiting me right now. In doing so I hope it will enable me to get better quicker.
I know from talking to other disabled people there is such a will to be ‘normal’ but sometimes to the detriment of yourself. I feel the point of this blog is to say to disabled people that do not dwell on your impairment, get out there and do it but when it takes a hold and limits you listen to your body and take the steps necessary to get back to full fitness.